


Let It

by mikachan



Series: Sebastian x Ciel Drabbles & One-Shots [8]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: First Person, M/M, Similes, cause its actually appropriate here, prose, rlly angsty, spillingashes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-04 23:43:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12782199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikachan/pseuds/mikachan
Summary: I am in the air and I live in the rain.





	Let It

There is a mist outside the window. It billows and rises as if it is smoke off a fire, cascading over the cold, paralyzed grass. All but the air is still until a darkened silhouette appears, reflected in the glass. A dreadful wonder spills as acid into my stomach, and I swallow it along with all the words that I will always be too prideful to say. Its hand is cold and graceless against my shoulder. It is in these awkward, tired mornings that I find my heart betrays me most. The air is frigid, and it stings my nose and throat as if I am swallowing icicles… breathing in the rain threatening to pour down the lonely pane.

The sun is yet to even rise, and after such a sleepless night I again dread its presence peaking through the still, cold leaves. Please stay, I think to myself. I often find myself craving the absence of time. If it perhaps would pause, or even cease, then I would finally get the rest my soul chases so tirelessly. I am heavy. I am in the air and I live in the rain. I love the rain as if it is my lover, and perhaps it could be. Perhaps it is embodied by the one I attempt to kiss so tenderly.

I reach up, fingers sliding against the soft cotton of its glove. I can sense its breathing, though I cannot hear nor feel it. It is intangible… unnamed. It takes a while of its touch lingering, but still it manages to pull those words from me as if they are poison. I spill them into the palm of its hand, breath ghosting along its wrist as I lean into it so trustingly. It sinks down next to me, and I am collapsed, broken. I cannot seem to open my eyes, and when it speaks to me in a language I cannot comprehend, I find that I rest my ear against its chest. I listen intently to its soft, forbidding rumbles… as though it is whispering some ancient importances. 

I cannot understand, and still I let its tenacious words gloss over me as silk does over soft, pale skin. They caress me, and I am soft marble. I am in the air and I live in the rain. I am ancient, and raw. I am sensitive, and immovable. I am the darkness and I am the light. I live in all things. I am in all things, and all things are in me. I am disappearing slowly, melting into whatever this thing has commanded me to become. 

It kills me slowly, and I accept. It picks at the deepest, most profound pieces of my being until I am soft marble… until I am in the air and I live in the rain. It spreads darkness over me, and even as I refuse so naturally, I accept the pieces that I cannot change. They have always been there. I am the darkness and I am the light. I am made of stardust; I belong in the sky and in the ether. It reminds me. I am in the air and I live in the rain. I am melting slowly… and I accept. I lean in to kiss its lips silent, heart aching, and bursting with many silent stars.


End file.
